Saturday, January 12, 2008

Death, Pain & Sadness

Tonight, my wife and I attended a service for a baby girl whom the world had never met. She passed away at the age of 36 weeks before being born.

I can not think of anything else in life that I would find so painful as seeing the joyful expectations of pregnancy turn so rapidly into horror, despair, grief and sadness as one coming realize that their unborn child has died, or will be dying soon.

Even as a stranger to this child and her family, standing there, looking at the smallest casket I've ever seen, I found myself wanting to open it up, grab the tiny body, and hold it tight. Why Lord? It just seems so unjust.

It's times like these that I find being a believer the hardest. It's in times like this where Satan seems to increase the persistent challenges to the goodness and righteousness of God's character by whispering things like "If God is so ______ (you fill it in), why does he allow bad things like this to happen?" (I'll save my response to that for another post). However, this time, I find myself not shaking my head in agreement to that question, but blaming the one asking instead.

If I could slap him, I would. Lying, murderous sack of shit that he is! Can I say that word? Sure, what words are more fitting for such a horrible creature who would inflict so much pain and suffering on mankind? I am done buying into this lie. God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. None! He's a good, loving, and merciful God. No matter how hard it gets, we must continue to hold fast to that truth.

This tiny life we witnessed tonight will never see a sun rise. That's a very painful thing to think about. However, this young baby is experiencing true life because the Son did Rise! And because He rose we will too - even those whom never saw the light of day. Lord I pray that I might hold on to that truth!

1 comment:

Angie said...

Hey I was just reading some of your blogs and found myself wondering - have you ever read John Elderedge? He talks a good bit about what you described and in your writing you did (I think unknowingly) exactly what we are supposed to do; when Satan sneaks subtle thoughts into us at weak times of sadness or dissapointment or loss; when we think those thoughts that inevitablly come to us, a lot of times we subconsciencely agree with him in our spirit; we may not like the thought or want to believe it either, but it seems to make sense and so we sadly agree with what we think of as just reality when IN reality it is a lie a scheme of Satan to get us to agree with him in our heart about the nature of God and set up an emotional stronghold to be used at a later time! Instead of agreeing in our spirit we need to immediatly shout out God's truths and deny our instincts to agree ( maybe with something like, "see I knew something bad was going to happen eventually, I knew God was going to let me down at some point" ) Usually if we can recognize this ploy of the devil and start telling ourselves God's truths despite our feelings or incomprehension of the situation Satan's attack will leave; which is exactly what you did when you refused to ask those hard ?'s and instead pointed the finger at Satan and told him God's truths...I know that was an old blog but it was new to me are the salt of the earth..keep up your honest and forthright approach to sharing your adventures in Christ!