Olivia

Today I had the occasion to attend the memorial service of a young girl, Olivia, who passed from brain cancer recently. Boy what a mixed set of emotions! I did not know her well, but as a father could really identify with how her parents must be feeling. To lose a child must be excruciatingly painful in all aspects of our being.

Knowing the Lord really gives one an unusual outlook on death and dying. Most of my life, I've grown up hearing people say smarmy things like "Oh, they're in a better place now...", etc. Yes, I know it's true, but I wonder if most people find comfort in hearing things like this? In many ways, I wonder if it's harder that I know the Lord because I tend to want God to give an account for His reasons for allowing a person to die. If I felt we were all here by time and chance, how would I feel about it?

I felt somewhat conflicted sitting there, realizing that God is not going to dole out answers to these heart questions I have yet feeling supernaturally compelled to glorify and worship Jesus all the more. In many ways, my heart worshiped the Lord more at this memorial service (with only two songs! ;-) ) than at services intended for praise. It must have been a God thing, because I was feeling pretty crumby about the whole ordeal.

I don't know that I have the view of death that I know I should and long to. I vacillate between being totally fine with it one moment, and being very uncomfortable with it the next.

Hearing of Olivia's final days was encouraging. The Lord walked with this young lady through the ordeal! She was a light, and continues to be from eternity. I hope and pray that the Lord will give me His view of death and dying.

Until then, Hosanna Maranatha!